Jay, it makes interesting reading

Jay, it makes interesting reading.I sure as hell do not have all the answers, in fact I have more questions than answers.

I enjoyed myself chatting with you the other night, even though I found some of our conversations quite shocking and had really had no idea how you had been feeling and for how long this “dark passenger” had been pressing on you.

As there was a lot of chatting back and forth, i do find myself wanting to sum up a couple of things, (some things you may find useful and others not!) so hear goes
1) I find personally that I think of my illness as with many illnesses as a chemical imbalance – I find this makes it easier to talk about and removes the stigma attached to “mental illness”
2) Honesty is always the best policy, not only being honest with your illness and its effects but also with your those around you, share your fears, share your dreams and ensure those dreams are realistic given your conditions.
3) OK so here is the hard one – we talked of your options going forward:

  1. Remain as you are, continue on current mess. This is likely over long time to lead to deteriation and result in no improvements.
  2. Really put your heart and soul into trying to improve things, this may mean changing jobs, friends, house, meds, therapist etc. and could mean a voluntary time in an institute or hospital. This is a big choice and could lead to no significant improvement at all, or a period of long-term stability and happiness. This is probably the hardest option, taking hard work and possibly a long time, it could require a complete strip down and rebuild!
  3. Opt out. Well talk about a big decision – there is no coming back from this one. Personally I think that this is a selfish option, but I can also agree with you that it is your decision. (That’s not to say that i would not try to talk you out of it) All that I do ask, is that if this is the path you chose, having ruled out the other options, that you take some time with Jon and/or I to allow us to be made aware of any arrangements and practicalities for your personal effects etc. after the event, it is going to be a hard enough thing for the parents to deal with, without asking them to take care of your finances and effects.

Jay, I just thought that these things needed saying, I appreciate you may disagree and at the end of the day these decisions are entirely yours. Please remember that those around you who have respect and love for us are affected by our decisions and paths which we follow.
Jon and I are here for you, let us know if there is anything we can do. We look forward to seeing you at Thanksgiving.

Kathi

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